We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
