Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
