i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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