i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
