remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize