I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
