Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
