i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
