so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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