My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize