and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
