I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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