So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
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She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
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You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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