Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
