She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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