What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
