Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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