Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
