perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
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When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
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New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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