All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize