i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
two words: eviction party
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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