Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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