we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
