You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
tell me about the fingering
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