The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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