The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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