I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
