you guys were way drunker than both of me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
