He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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