So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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