where does the pee come out of this thing
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
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You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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