I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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