i was born a porn star she said
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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