He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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