I hate all girls vehemently.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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