I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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