a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
