Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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