the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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