I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
