used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize