it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I love having hate sex.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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