...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize