Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
