Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"