What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
