He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
