Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
