FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
