Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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