I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
