Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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