my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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