yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
