I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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