Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize